10.20.2009

My gift

It was merely a foolish sacrifice.
But still, a sacrifice might bring a change.
And this change might give the one a better life.
I don't know how long will it take,
I don't know what the end will be like,
but I just hope for the best.
When I finally can pass the baton,
I will.
It was merely a foolish sacrifice,
but yet, though foolish it is,
it is worthwhile.
Till the end comes,
I will stay right behind,
right behind to be counted on.
I will hold,
I will mend,
I will care,
I will create.
This is a promise.
A promise I made for the first time,
and intend to keep for the last time.

Hands were made to hold a person when he or she falls,
to give a hug when comfort is needed,
to give a pat on the back when encouragement is needed,
to type a message when enlightenment is needed.
My hands will always be there,
ready to hold you when you fall,
ready to hug you when you need comfort,
ready to give you a pat on the back when you need encouragement,
to type you a message when you need enlightenment.

10.18.2009

4am

Sunday morning,4am.
We were there till 4am.
We talked, we shared, we discussed.
There was a time we could not work together,
a time we could not speak to one another,
a time where we could not face one another.

However,
on a Sunday morning,
we sat together,
we talked to one another.
We tried to understand one another,
we appreciated one another.

It was this.
It was just this one thing.
It was just one simple step.

I do not want to keep being that way.
I wanted to keep aside.
To keep people's flaws aside,
and look at the beauty which they possess.
I needed to change. 
I learned that everybody is different,
that everybody is beautiful.
I tried to change.
I put aside my pride,
put aside my ego.
At least,
things are turning around.

We talked about love.
We talked about the past. 
We talked about the conditions of our heart.
We talked about hurt.
We talked about decisions.
But the most painful of all in which we spoke was - Love. 

Love..
It can be sweet like honey but yet poisonous like venom.
But it all takes the sacrifice.
It all takes the commitment.
The feeling is for a moment,
but the decision is yours to make,
the commitment is yours to take.
Taking it up was easy,
but now to put it down is difficult.
When betrayal strikes,
when chances were taken for granted,
when you thought that was right but it was not.
The hurt, unbearable,
the pain, undeniable.
One wrong choice after another.
When memories come searching,
when memories become haunting,
when memories don't fade that easily,
the heartache becomes overwhelming.
Commitment,
perseverance,
understanding,
support,
loyalty,
they are really so difficult.
But they come in a package,
you cannot lose anyone of them.
That's when love really is love.
When you decide to be with someone,
when you decide to accept the heart of a person,
a heart as fragile as thin glass.
Some can play,
some cannot.
I cannot.
A heart is not for playing.
The heart is where you lay your life.
Without a heart,
you live without a life.
When a heart is severely scarred,
a heart becomes stone cold.
You know how to love your own life,
why can't you treasure the life of another person as well?
To treasure is not only to prevent murder,
but also to learn to love without a reason,
without too many expectations.
In which relationship people don't get hurt?
In which relationship people don't get neglected?
In a relationship, the normal life still goes on.
A relationship is a gift.
A gift where you have somebody to stay by your side.
A gift where you can count on someone to listen to you when you desperately needs to pour.
A gift where you encounter different emotions and a learning process.

We can cry,
we can give up,
but at the end of the day,
we still cannot close our heart.
As much as I wanted to,
I know I could not.
I can only try to see the brighter side of things.
I lose you today, I will find another.
Another whom I will be able to love more and appreciate.
Another who is better than you who left.
I will find another until I finally find it right.
So many people,
I might meet the wrong one,
but through the hurt and pain encountered,
I will learn to love the next better.
Love, a God-given gift to all mankind,
we cannot give up loving.
We may walk the paths where we will remember the past,
the memories once sweet to our hearts but now aching us,
but we will look forward,
we will not give up,
we cannot give up.
We need to be stronger,
we need to learn to love better.
Do not sigh over things that are gone,
but start looking forward for things that are to come.
Sighing over the past,
looking backwards,
it stumbles us in holding on to what's better.
Just like driving on a highway,
you cannot look back,
you have to keep looking forward.
You have a destination,
you want to go to somewhere better.
You need to reach a place.
You cannot look back.
When you look back,
you might run into something which you could have prevented from doing so,
you might miss the turning to where you wanted to go.
If you keep thinking of looking back,
you will lose even your life for not driving with full concentration.
Things in life were not made to move backwards,
we build things and invented things,
and almost everything goes forward.
Cellphones become trendier and with more functions,
and we don't invent things to go back to stone age writing on stone tablets.
Cars are driven forward,
cars are never driven backwards on a highway.
People have eyes on the front,
nobody have their eyes on the back.
We naturally walk forward,
we don't walk backwards.
So never look back,
never go back,
always go forward.
You will find better,
you will get better.
Time is not everything,
but the willingness to open the heart once more is the key to everything.


I am trying,
I am melting my stone cold heart.
I am taking one step at a time,
and I will look forward.
There's still a long race ahead,
a long run full of obstacles and challenges till the day I really meet the end.
There will be multiple hurts that will come my way,
but let's take that as a blessing.
A blessing to make the heart stronger than before.
Trees without wind won't grow to be strong,
and sometimes as tiny and weak as grasses,
they can still withstand the strong wind that comes.
Let's be that way,
let's learn to see things in another perspective.
Maybe we will learn something,
and not only remember the negative.
Everybody will have a story behind them,
a story which we feel sad when we share,
we feel disappointed when we speak of it,
but that's what makes each person different.
You know why people say life is unfair?
Because they never weigh what they have and don't with other's.
Life is fair.
You have something different, and another person has something different.
You were not given something, and the other person is not given something else.
Because everybody cannot have the same things.
If everybody has the same things,
nobody will be able to help anybody when something different happens in our life.
Life is full of surprises,
anything can happen any moment.
We need people's experiences to comfort and help us through,
and things change rapidly.
And if everybody has the same thing,
nobody can help anybody.
And if everybody has everything,
we do not have the ability to hold on to the responsibilities of what we have and we should do with it.

Hurts are part and parcel of life,
we just have to learn to embrace it.
The more we fight with it,
the more pain we get.
If we learn to embrace it and learn from it,
we will know how to let it go and live beyond it.
Time will teach,
experience will teach,
people will teach.
Love,
never an easy thing,
be it between lovers or family.
But that's a gift.
That's how we learn to grow.
It's for you to learn from it.
Think about it..
everything that comes with it,
let it be a gift from heaven,
given to all mankind for the better.
It is a gift,
A gift.

Till 4am,
we were there till 4am,
let 4am on a Sunday morning be a turning point for all of us.

4am,
that was another gift heaven sent.

10.12.2009

Wow...

Been such a long time since I last posted anything.. Lol..

Maybe because I really have nothing to post about...

Sorry BLOGGIE!

Oh well... Still on my semester break currently, and let's see... Nothing much going on, still tired as usual.

But then, not that I don't have anything to share... Hehe...

Well, we had our music video assignment during the previous semester. Hehe...

Managed to do something interesting during that time... Guess what? Managed to write my own song, get the melody, get my own musicians and record it in a professional studio! Woo hoo! That was fun... It is a mandarin song entitled 代替, in english called Replacement or Substitution.

But of course, not forgetting to give credits to these people...

TAA DAA!

Piano - Ji Ling
Electric Guitar - Cheong Hoe
Bass - Tze Con
Drums - Joel Yap
Strings - James Yee (dearest former boss, special thanks too for the studio partial sponsorship)

Deepest appreciation and thanks to all of you... ^^

Here's a summary of the song for those who do not know mandarin...

The song is written in the perspective of a late-friend who wanted to send a message to the friend who is still alive, telling her that he/she is thankful for all the times they had together and wishes that the friend will be able to move on in life with somebody new whom he/she can trust and lean on to. The friend who is alive eventually found someone who could replace the gap left behind by the late-friend and thus, a replacement.

This is the simple summary. ^^

Here's the vid.



真得很抱歉
我买不过时间
已经不能继续陪在你身边
你哭红双眼
我只能默默安慰
背叛的感觉
是否很强烈

日记已翻开
夹着我们的照片
记载着你和我
所有的事件
不知不觉之间
字迹已慢慢化开
我走的突然
是否很迷茫

虽然你看不见我
也听不见我
说的每一句
我依然要告诉你
我还在这里
要做你小小保护天使
守护安慰你
一步一脚印
要陪你走下去

亲爱的朋友
永远都在我心里
风吹雨淋
我要为你遮风挡雨
做不到的事情
会找人去代替
悄悄得给你往前的勇气
亲爱的朋友
永远都会珍惜你
我们的回忆
珍藏在我记忆里
我不会忘记
幸福就是因为有你
我答应永远守护你

虽然你看不见我
也听不见我
说的每一句
我依然要告诉你
我还在这里
要做你小小保护天使
守护安慰你
一步一脚印
要陪你走下去

亲爱的朋友
永远都在我心里
风吹雨淋
我要为你遮风挡雨
做不到的事情
会找人去代替
悄悄得给你往前的勇气
亲爱的朋友
永远都会珍惜你
我们的回忆
珍藏在我记忆里
我不会忘记
幸福就是因为有你
我答应永远守护你

亲爱的朋友
他会带我守护你
直到有一天再相遇

Hope you will like it and do comment if you want to, both the video and the song. ^^ Constructive criticisms are also welcomed... Constructive kay? ^^

Director : Louise Liew Bee Hwang - Congrats gurl!
Composer and singer, online editor : Yee Hui Juin, Jean - Me..
Offline editors: Janice Ng Min Yuet, Loh Yee Xin,Tan Yon Lynn
Actors and actresses : Singer - Mei Shi
Girl friend - Min Lynn
Boy friend - Wei Boon
Wardrobe lady - Jophennie

Hehe... That's about all the credits..

Alrighty.. That's all for now..

Until the next time I have something to add.. ^^

Tata!

7.27.2009

Hey Hey Hey everybody!



안녕하세요! 잘있어서요? 전여기잘있어요..



I'm now at Korea, posting up a blog post for some updates...

Haha... Anyways, reached here in Korea on 26th July, and let's say the airplane ride ain't that good because I was way too hungry on board and by the time I eat I was already half fainting. Haha... But everything was fine when I got down and hm... We actually had a couple of hours before the people from Mokpo comes over and pick us up, so we made s trip to the nearest temple to take a look at the surroundings. Really nice scenery actually, except that the bugs were a little noisy. What do you expect in the middle of nowhere jungle? ^^ Anyways, we made a trip there and got to know the Korean tourist guide named Nicole. Nice girl... Haha...

Then we took McD for breakfast there, and never did I know that they don't have fries in their set meals. Oh well... I had a shrimp burger for and then we went on waiting. The bus came after quite a long time, and there were other people from other countries who boarded the bus with us for this program. There are 2 guys from Spain, Moon and Michel, 2 gurls from Taiwan as well. A girl from Ukrain called Titania. Well, in the bus, UTAR was majority. Haha.. so that's how it was...

We stopped halfway for dinner at one of the rest stops. Let's say that when we look at it, I suppose a gush of shame overwhelmed us as their rest stops were very well-maintained and it was clean and nice. Hmm... no comparison am I going to make it here.. ^^ We had some stew and also sauced rice for dinner and continued our journey off to Mokpo. Hehe... On the way, I managed to capture some nice sceneries and at the same time recorded the setting of an orange flaming sun. Hoho... Nice... We reached Mokpo about 10pm Korean time and whew... really tired then. Had some games as well though. Hoho... By the way, the rooms were really high tech, specially on the door knobs or handles. Haha.. no need keys or anything anymore. Save the hassle, and it's good... HAha... Bathroom is nice as well, not bad. And I'm in the same room with a Russian name Natalyia (Read : Natashia)...

Next day, we had our breakfast, an opening ceremony and a simple orientation, then we headed down to Mokpo Town to learn the Sa Mul No Ri (사무너리), a traditional instrument play with 4 different instruments to symbolise the harmonies of the wind, clouds, thunder and lake. Well, don't quite understand that, but yea.. Haha... we played something which is easy to catch if you don't have to sing along. Haha... Then we were taught some dance which really cracked all of us up and make us rolling on the floor. The dance was more like a drama. The storyline is something like a grandma goes around looking for grandpa, and along the way found a caterpiller which made her feel itchy and she killed it, and at the end she ended up in the washroom. Haha... Funny ain't it? Haha... it is... Well, fun though. We wore the masks which are nice but really scary and after some pictures we went back to the uni. HAha...

At night we went to the supermarket to buy some stuff, and on the way back, we went to eat some fried chicken. HAha... I won't say KFC is nicer or Korean Fried Chickens are nicer, but I would say.. not bad... ^^ Haha... Then we stopped by the a stall shop on the street and bought some rice cakes for supper and also tasted some local simple street food. ^^ Quite fun... Another thing, although it is called summer, it is actually very cold here. Brrr... regrets... I have more shorts than long. HAha... Well, will live with that. ^^

Well, so far these are all we did because this is the first day of activity. SO... haha... more will come... I'll update when there's something more... HEhe...

Sign off in Korea

7.03.2009

Finding and searching and finding and searching, finding and searching for people who can play the electric guitar and bass for the song which I composed for our group's music video..

Can find the person, the person is not free. People that are free might not have the skills I expect to enhance the song. Aihz.. No perfect one who is skillful and free at the same time??

Studio booking is not easy also, everything in the late night. And I only have around another week more to finish the song off including the singing part.

And so much to complete... Illustrator assignment, photoshop assignment to hand in 2 weeks b4 due date, moral assignment, trying to cope with the Student Rep matters which if there's no support and cooperation from my comm members, I'm a piece of dead meat and I will literally go insane, and I have my comm theories assignment and presentation to complete, all within 3 weeks. How? Cannot how anymore, have to do it no matter by hook or by crook.

Finding for a machine that will do all the work.. All I need is a remote control to control what the machine does.

As usual, pain and gain, pain that I have to do so much in such a short time, gain that I will be away for a good rest and study trip in Korea. Nothing is perfect in this world.. everything so balanced. Can we go a lil unbalanced sometimes? Sobs...

Back to work..

6.25.2009

Wow... it's been like ages since I last signed in and say something in this long-neglected blog. Lol..

Anyways, here's some updates about me, just in case u wanna know. Hehe..

1. This coming July, I'll be going to Korea for a cultural study trip. Really looking forward to going there and have some fun, but at the same time, driving myself nuts with the rush of assignments that will be due during the times that I am away. Sobs.. Guess everything has lose and gain. But I wish to lose the fats. Lol... Anyways, will be going there for about 2 weeks, and we'll be at Mokpo. Going anywhere else, you ask? No idea.. Hehe.. haven't get the full schedule as yet. Hehe... But definitely there will be a temple stay which is going to be really fun. Haha... wonder what will it be like. Lol... but I hope to be able to buy a hanbok and wear. Hehe... They seem to be really nice. Well, nothing much to talk about this until I come back from the trip. Will buy some souveniors if they are not too expensive. Until then, this is all about the trip I will talk about. hehe

2. UTAR SRC election coming soon, but PJ campus have already got their committee, and yours truly is the president. To be honest, as honest as possible, I actually am supremely worried about how well I will be able to handle the job. Even the first unofficial meeting itself already has a lot of problems, and I do not know what to do and how to handle them. Well, what can I do? Now that I am in, I will be in for a whole year. I cannot run unless I go missing la.. But of course that will not happen. For people who have confidence in me, I say 'thank you' but I still need to find that confidence in myself. Well, I can only say 'Help' and hopefully somebody will come by and save my life.

3. Bad hair days... Well, we'll forget about those for the moment. Dear hair, grow ASAP k? Aihz... ugly ugly me. Aihz...

Hmm... at the moment can't think about anything much cause I'm currently in the saloon. Lol... while my hair is being cut, I am typing my post. Well, will update more next time... Hehe

HOT!

6.01.2009

Kim Hee Chul

I've never seen somebody who can really talk like a chicken butt and offend people all around and not spare much face to the person he is stepping on with his words that comes out like spears and spear everybody else (as far as I watched him until now), BUT......

AIN'T THAT FUN!!!!!!????!!!!!!

COOL WEY!!!!!!!


If only he knows english (if you don't know, this is a korean guy) and that I can find him then MAN... World War 3 of the MOUTH will be so way cool! To get the extreme frustration and anger on top of my head trying to make no sense with a person who can really chicken butt and spear away, and sometimes can get so damn cruel and annoying and irritating in actions also but yet so funny and cute in another way... That goat smile.. (senyum kambing in Malaysian language.. known as smurk!)

UNFORTUNATELY, these kind of people don't really exist around me, because somehow they just lack some kind of elements even if they are obnoxious to let me feel it is worth the time to even argue something of no sense or of sense..

Anyway, YA! If someday I can find him and talk and argue the crap together, that's adventure! ADVENTURE AND FUUUUNNNN!!!!

Btw, this is the person...

Below...

ish...

Can scroll down a bit?

You know how to use your mouse?

Just keep it pressed and down on the arrow...

Ish ish ish...

Down..

Down..

Down somemore la...

AISEHLEHMAN...

Lu ni buat apa sekarang?

A bit more la..

Just a bit more..

A wee bit more k?

Marah apa marah now?

Scold wat scold?

Patient a bit la..

coming dy...

Coming soon...

TADA!


Got tagged by Angeline.. but dono when .. LOL

1. Besides your lips, where is the favorite spot to get kissed?
Wanna kiss my eyes?
they blink!
LOL!
FOREHEAD!
I'm still baby young...

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
Classes starting today.. AISEHLEHMAN...
Bored and eager to watch more downloaded shows..

3. Who was the last person/people you took photo with?
I hate taking photos...
Let me see...
The girls working with me in UTAR Welcoming Concert 2009!
Lovey lovey dovey dovey..

4. Would you considered yourself spoilt?
NO!
Maybe a bit..
Okay..
Quite..
Now let's not go too far k? ^^

5. Will you ever donate blood?
I'll die!!!!
Nah..
Am not allowed to for reasons that I cannot tell..
Or I will have to kill you..

6. Have you ever had a best friend of the opposite sex?
Hmm...
I'm not good with people of the opposite sex..
Not lesbian you dummy..
But yea...
I do/did have.. ^^
Figuring that out heh?
MUAHAHA!

7. Do you want someone to be dead?
Nah...
Nobody needs to die..
Wait..
Yes!
MYSELF! I wanna go to heaven!
Wait..
Nah...
Don't have...

8. What does your last text message say?
'O.. ;) Nothing to say don need to say anything de.. can save money.. =D'
I make people silent..
Sometimes..

9. What are you thinking right now?
Let me see..
I can't really be thinking of anything as I am now busy answering ques..
And I don't really have much to think...
So nothing ..
BUAH HA HA HA!

10. Do you want someone to be with you right now?
Ah duh... Of course I do...
But it won't come true..
At least not as yet..
Or will it?
AISEHLEHMAN...

11. What was the time you went to bed last night?
Hmm..
11pm?
12pm?
1am?
don't remember..

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
I ain't wearing any tee..
Nope..
Now, don't go that way kay?
I'm in my pyjamas.. ^^

13. Is someone on your mind right now?
Yes...
Yes...
Yes...
Yes...
Yesh...
Ish...

14. Who was the last person who texted you?
Not a reply?

NONE!
I'm not so popular..
Oh..
Wait..
Got!
Ya fu! ^^

TEN lucky person to do this quiz
1. U
2. U
3. U
4. U
5. U
6. U
7. U
8. U
9. U
10. U

15. Who is number 2 having a relationship with?
Who are you having a relationship with?
Oh come on...
You can tell me..
Hehehe...
Mm hm..
Mm hmm...
Okiez..
Secret..
No problem...
^^

16. Is no. 3 male or female?
I'm sure U know your gender right?

17. If no.7 and no.1 get together, will it be good?
Let me see..
Scientifically..
I don't think you can separate yourself from yourself..
So you're already together..
Good for you! MUAHAHA!

18. What is no.1 studying about?
Er..
Who are you?
What are you studying?

19. When was the last time you chatted with them?
When was the last time I chatted with you?
Sorry if I didn't..
Text me so that I can chat with you..
LOL!

20. Is no.4 single?
SO?
Single and available?
Or single but unavailable?
Or totally unavailable?

21. Say something about no.2
Ask me personally, I will tell you.. ^^

22. What do you think about no.2 and no.6 being together?
Please refer to no.17 for the answer.. ^^

23. Describe no.9
Please refer to no.21 for the answer.. ^^

24. Do you like 8?
If you're my friend, of course I like you!
If not..
why are u my friend??
^^

THE END OF A TAGFUL OF MINDLESS ANSWERS>>>